The Alligarter

When the alligarter snaps her jaws
She really should receive applause
When showing all her spiky teeth,
For hidden deep beneath
Her tongue, so very strong,
Are garters made of strong elastic.

They make it hard to open wide
Her jaws; you’d really want to hide
When all those teeth reflect the light.
But if she sees you, don’t take flight,
Stay very still; let silence fill
The air. You’re safe, you see – fantastic!

She really wouldn’t want to eat you,
She’d only want to meet and greet you.
We all might think she wants to chomp
On everything within her swamp.
But no, she’d hiss, the truth is this,
My social life is deeply drastic.

And we all know the reason why;
We all think we’re going to die,
Thanks to all those spiky teeth.
But hidden deep beneath
Her knobbly skin, so deep within,
Below those garters of elastic….

Is a friendly heart that gently beats
Alone; you see, she only ever eats
The pollution in her little swamp;
She only ever wants to chomp
On waste that she finds good to taste –
The drifts of our discarded plastic.